My Lebanon   

Growing up in Egypt in the 60’s Lebanon was always a distant daydream place, an imaginary place where other Arabs escape to from the hardships of their demanding life and conservative tradition. A place where people go to redeem their virility and to get a taste of the Forbidden City; Beirut.  My first love with Lebanon was only through the silver screen listening to the voice of the Lebanese Diva, the Marilyn Monroe/ Madonna  of the Arab world, Sabbah. Her husky sexy voice, her blonde bouffant hair and her infamous clad beautiful body had painted my fantasy of Lebanon for years.  Lebanon for many of us was the answer to our deep personal, psychological and social suffering. It was the place to go to for a change when all our attempts have profoundly failed. It was for everyone a place that is open and free. If you were a C student who couldn’t get into the college of your choice that may impress your friends and family, then you went to Lebanon for a crash course and respected degree to frame on the wall for the neighbors spectacle. If you couldn’t find a job that provides you with a decent living and prestige, you could go to Lebanon to start a new career. If you were a writer and your work couldn’t be published in Egypt, you escape to Lebanon to see its birth. If you were a politician and your political career out- lived its domestic usefulness, you could escape to Lebanon and join the deposed party. In the plentiful Egyptian movies, more than often when the story got dull and the plot was going nowhere, it was a cue for a Lebanon to break the narrative, the lead actor(s) somehow went to Lebanon, and come coming back a changed person. If he was poor and desperate, he came back richer and full of optimism; if she was, a anxious virgin she came back experienced and fulfilled; if he was a school dropout and no future to look up to, he came back with education and speaking a beautiful accent. Lebanon, was a fragile small place in the Arab world with lots of possibilities for millions of Arabs with few possibilities. A shining ray of hope for people growing up robbed of their dreams. Lebanon was different in so many ways, sophisticated and cosmopolitan, even its topography where you can find the mountains, the snow, the ocean, and of course beautiful beaches. Unlike Egypt, Lebanon seemed to be a little richer, prettier, a bit sinful,  and most of all, open and free. Lebanon was for me the next best thing to America. A far away place where things are glossier, shiner and just flat better. In the Egyptian play “Madrassah El-Mushaghbeen,” Gangsters school, the longest running Arab comedy ever made (almost 30 years), the play was taken from Sidney Partier movie “Sir with Love”. One of the student gangsters who just came back from a summer school in Lebanon was trying to impress his amused friends the difference between Lebanese’s school and Egyptian school. “The Lebanese school has curriculum that is too easy and beautiful he explained as he waves his two hands up in the air carving a beautiful woman’s body. Lebanon was a small place with big dreams, an imaginary place where I could always go one day. Now, Lebanon the shinning jowls of the Arab world has been insanely destroyed by the Israeli military madness. Although, he ugly destruction images replaced the beautiful cities, parks and beaches everywhere.  And no matter how much destruction was inflicted on my beloved country, under the watch of world community. I will always have my Lebanon in my heart a place devoid of destruction and fear; I will rebuild my Lebanon devoid of politicking and corruption. A place devoid of Hezbollah or Hezboljudah (Party of Judah) and sectarian violence and warfare, I will draw a beautiful place with beautiful women and beautiful beaches, a shining Mediterranean inviting shores, a jewel place with lively cities and streets, with trusting doves flocking on the green parks . Lebanon that I knew, Lebanon that welcomed my childhood sinful but innocent dreams will always shine in the midst of the ugly reality of the Middle East desert thinking and politics.  A place where people could go and start a new life when they lose all ground, a safe Lebanon that no one can hurt or destroy, because war and violence can destroy buildings, parks, school and streets, it could tumble governments, but it could never destroy a dream. Ahmed